Pegging Doesn’t Make Your Lover Gay: Sex Does Not Dictate Sexuality

A couple of nights ago, my husband and I had a few people to the house.  One of our guests is a very out and about gay man, who works in a drag house and is very open about his sexual endeavors.  This is great because we are also very open about our exploits and makes for very interesting conversation.

After a while our conversation drifted into a particular event that involved a straight man having anal sex (or receiving oral sex from a man), and our gay friend said something to the affect of, “He’s definitely gay, even though he said he’s straight.”

This prompted me to say something like, “The kind of sex you enjoy doesn’t dictate your sexuality, I don’t think.”  Everyone seemed to disagree with me, which prompted me to do some critical thinking.

I think it’s unfair to categorize certain forms of sex as strictly belonging to gay, lesbian, or straight preference, because sexual pleasure can come from all sorts of different outlets.  I like the occasional nine-tail whip in the bedroom, but that does not immediately make me a BDSM enthusiast.  Or, if I receive oral sex, that makes me a lesbian, even though tons of couples of every gender do it.  Pegging has become an popular sexual act in the bedroom, but according to this theory, straight couples are awakening the inner, secret gay in their husbands and boyfriends!

Girls can enjoy Pen15 memberships now, too!

There is still a huge problem in society where men are afraid to step into newer areas of potential pleasure because of the “stigma” that anal sex means that you’re gay, or will magically make you gay (because, you know, being gay is some big and dreadful thing).  And might I point out, a lady’s holes can be explored to any man’s desire, but I wonder how often the lady is allowed to explore her man/men to such an extent without a battle.  Sexual exploration is a mainstream idea now, but personally, I don’t know enough men who would be willing to let their girlfriends stick it in their behind.  So within my immediate knowledge of the people around me, straight men are less comfortable with stepping outside their perceived ideas of acceptable masculinity and sexual practice because of this bizarre idea that sex acts make or don’t make you straight/gay/bisexual.

Sex is sex is sex.  My friend Erica put it plainly and beautifully:  ” What specific acts get you off have nothing to do with who you want to perform those acts with/on.”  Being gay means that you are romantically/sexually attracted to the same gender, yes?  The kind of sex you have does not have any bearing on this.  If you enjoy getting eaten out like Chinese takeaway, that doesn’t make you a lesbian any more than giving head to your man makes him gay.  Because the kind of sex you like to have is irrelevant to the people you like to have that kind of sex with.

So here’s some food for thought.  Gay sex and straight sex are invalid applications, simply because if you are having sex with someone, regardless of where the peen is in relation to the other peen or vagina or asshole, is sex.  Gay sex, really, is happy sex – which means that all of you are guilty of having a TON OF GAY SEX OOOH MAANNN

 

And sorry about totally not writing about henna for hair like I said I would last time.  But this was a driving force that I had to get down as soon as possible.  Soon, though, we will explore henna.  Promise.

The Shocking Condition of Women Knowing Nothing About Their Bodies

Warning:  This post is exceptionally frank.  I take no responsibility if you’re offended.  After all, you’re the one reading it.

A girlfriend of mine Facebook messaged me the other day, frantic.

“Kei, I need to ask you something, and it’s really gross.”

“Okay, go for it.  I’m a master of gross things.”

“I was in the shower, and…something that looked like a booger came out of my crotch.  WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT.”

“Hahaha you’re fine, that’s definitely vagina snot.  It’s totally normal, I promise.  It keeps hold of the sperm post-coitus to make pregnancy far more likely.”

“That is fucking disgusting, holy god ugh.  It looks like a BOOGER.”

Naturally, everybody’s reaction to the vagina snot is something along the lines of “omg wtf gross.”  Body fluid has always been a sort of sticky situation.  But of course, you know your body, you know what you’ve been putting into it and exposing it to, so pee, sweat, saliva, everything should not come as a surprise to you.  And most times, everybody is pretty alright with their own body and its processes.

Except, I’ve found, lots and lots of ladies.