Pre-Election Day Thought Jogger – Republicans Against Women and Gays

Sometimes I don’t understand how you can fuck up the rule of no religion in politics.  It seems pretty clear cut to me.  When you’re running for office, sure, you might be a [Monotheistic Belief Structure of your Choice], but when you obtain the status, you put that part of you aside.  You are the representative of the people of your country, people who have all different beliefs.

In a nation where religion is practiced freely (or should be, at least), the only way to combat the issues of religion mingling with politics is to focus on the secular concerns of the people.  For me, I understand this to mean civil liberties and rights.  Typically I don’t really go on political rampages here on the blog since I try to keep to a practical level of information, but I think you know that I am all about women’s issues, gay issues, and really, human issues.

For the last several months, it has become dishearteningly evident that the modern day Republican Party just hates women and gays, and nobody can argue with me when I say it’s because of religion.  Well, no, that’s a little too politically correct.  Let’s just cut the bullshit – radical Christianity has obliterated the rights women and gays have in this country.  And it’s a constant reminder that nobody has been penalized for using Christianity as a tool to gain power over those they perceive to be weaker, second class citizens.

Rape is God’s Will, So Says Richard Mourdock. No Quote, You Say? Let Me Explain.

I have been dormant on the blog for a while (school, work, etc) but recently this came up in the news and it is imperative that I put my two cents in because this is fucking ridiculous.

 

People have used God as an excuse for a multitude of things.   On the top of this list right now is that if you were raped and got pregnant from it, God intended you to get raped and get pregnant from it.

 

Here is a quote and a video in case you can’t believe it:

“I struggled with it myself for a long time, but I came to realize life is that gift from God. And I think even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen.”

Since the release of such a statement, Richard Mourdock himself was upset by it, but not because he had a lapse of judgement and regret over something so appalling, but because, apparently, it was taken out of context?

Let me make this clear.  You cannot take something like that out of context.

You cannot have God “will” you to get pregnant from rape without saying He willed you to get raped.

“Don’t penalize the unborn child, it was meant to be there because of  God’s Will.”  With that logic, you are also saying the person who raped you should not be held accountable for his or her own actions because it was in God’s design that they would be a rapist.  They can’t help themselves because it’s God’s Will!  Of course.

Imagine the outcry if a rapist plead “not guilty” to a rape because it was God’s Will.  It would not fucking fly.

How long will it be til someone calls bullshit on this ancient belief that we submit ourselves to God’s Will and just deal with it?   Actually, the real issue here is, when will someone call bullshit on the fact that it is NOT God’s Will – but instead a cover up, a cop out, an excuse for the millions of people who commit crimes such as rape?

Their actions have nothing to do with God – they have EVERYTHING to do with themselves.

I am not a Christian, but it is generally observed that God loves all of us, and I struggle to comprehend how people like Richard Mourdock can even begin to justify saying that God would bring down upon you a most heinous violation simply because He wants to. This, ladies and gentleman, is using God as a justification for rape, is it not?

Again:  You can’t say God wanted you to get pregnant after being physically and mentally violated without saying God wanted you to be physically and mentally violated.  Rape has been, and will always be, a power tool used by humans to enforce power on another.  NOT a design by God’s Will to better you as a person or teach you a lesson, or to bestow a lovely gift of life, which I am assuming is what Mourdock believes is a holy reason for rape.

When shit like this happens, it really paints a gruesome picture of how these people look at women:  They are not people.  They aren’t people who have rights to when they want to have children, if they want to have children.  Women are essentially degraded to the point where they are just vessels for babies to be pumped into and pulled out of.  Rape, for these guys, is totally justifiable, because that’s what women are for.  Intercourse, consensual or not, to make babies.  And I’m pretty sure they stick that sentiment on God too.

It is a policy in Christianity to grant God the praise or the blame and accept it as an unchanging truth. This is a value that Christians should stop enforcing/glorifying and start taking responsibility.  People should be looking at history and pointing the finger at every man (and woman!) who has used God as an excuse to commit a horrendous crime.  And I’m pointing at Richard Mourdock, who is effectively excusing rapists from their crimes by way of God’s Will.

This has got to stop.

Dreadlock Entry 1: Working Fast Food and Preparing Your Hair

About a month ago, a gentleman came into my place of work (a deli) and ordered some stuff.  This was pretty unspectacular except for the fact that this guy had a beautiful head of dreadlocks all the way down to his backside.  I asked him, “Is it very much work to maintain dreadlocks?”  To which he replied, “Hell no, it’s the easiest hairstyle and I can kick so much ass with these things.”  This isn’t verbatim, but that’s what I took from our conversation.  So I went home after work and read about dreads.

For those of you who don’t know me, I was that girl in high school that had every color of the rainbow in her hair at one point.  And not just single colors – several colors.  I was a punk rocker or something.

Just to give you an idea.

So anyway, long story short, I decided I’m going to spring for dreads this year.

Brushing Alternatives to Fluoride Toothpaste

Hello, Best Hysteria fans!  I am terrible at regular updates, and I apologize.  But I caught wind of a good conversation on Facebook about Fluoride and what a battle there is about it.  This gave me the jump start I needed to write about something that you should care about!

If you look on most toothpaste tubes, there is almost always fluoride listed as an ingredient (along with sodium lauryl sulfate, saccharine, glycol, and other harsh contents).  For years we’ve been told about how fluoride is super great for teeth and protects your enamel, etc etc.  But if you accidentally swallow more than the recommended amount for brushing your teeth, you are strongly advised to contact the Poison Control Center for further instruction. To give you an idea, let’s check out some symptoms of fluoride poisoning, here’s some symptoms from the least biased website I could find:

• Headaches
• Seizures
• Hyper salivation
• Vomiting
• Diarrhea
• Abdominal Pain
• “Various Arrhythmias”
• Shock
• Heart Attack

That’s the worst case scenario.  I’ve probably inadvertently swallowed a gallon of the stuff over my life and I’m pretty sure that I’ve never had a heart attack.

One friend of mine explained to me that her oldest son (now 10) had terrible teeth rot caused from the use of fluoride toothpastes in early teeth-time.  I could see this being a real problem as too much fluoride WILL destroy your teeth.  And they put that shit in your water.  They even make bottled water with that shit – marketed at mothers who are afraid that by not drinking tap wate, their children’s teeth will fall out.  Wasn’t this a reason they started pushing bottled water?  Because of all the effing shit they put into tap water?  BPA and other rants about plastic coming another time, surely you know.

Now, I personally try to steer clear of fluoride toothpastes if I can help it, mostly because of fluoride and other such chemicals – like the sodium lauryl sulfate and the glycols.  Polyethylene glycol is a humectant (or what they call a penetration enhancer, which makes for a running joke) that is recognized by the EWG’s Skin Deep database to be a skin irritant.  And we’ve covered SLS before on this blog.  It’s hard to avoid SLS as it’s in everything, and apparently so is Polyethylene glycol – it’s in foods.  Beyond me why they would put a penetration enhancer in my chewing gum (spoiler: it’s an emulsifier too).
For those of you who are saying, “Well now Ms. Best Hysteria, how do you suppose I ought to go about changing this?”  Lucky for you, the major toothpaste brands have already inadvertently given you a clue – baking soda, a popular whitening agent that is put into toothpastes!  Granted, this stuff is kinda gross.  I brush every day with the stuff and it’s not exactly nice.  But you have to remember, most of our lives were spent growing up on synthetic tastes of mint, cinnamon, and other goofy flavors to make brushing your teeth fun and exciting.  Baking soda is definitely not.  It’s almost kinda salty. However, in two weeks your teeth will be noticeably brighter.  And if the weird salty taste makes you gag, you can add some mint oil to it to give your breath a boost.  Oh yes, that’s another thing – baking soda does not freshen your breath.  There are several cheap, easy to make recipes for homemade mouthwash like Frugally Sustainable provides.

So if you want to free yourself of the chemicals and faux sweeteners, try using straight baking soda on your toothbrush for the next couple weeks.  It’ll take some getting used to, but it’s well worth it.  To good oral hygiene!

I’m a Female, Raised as a Female, And I’m Alright

ADORABLE

So, this is a rant – it might not make a lot of sense because it’s not really pre-written with points I want to address.  This is all just flowing.

There is, of late, a lot of talk on the popular feminist blog Bitch (a personal favorite of mine), about the genderpocalypse, or the end of standard gender rolls.  This, as a liberal artist, makes me giddy – parents raising their kids genderless?  Holy cow!  What better way to bring up your kid; there’s nothing wrong with liking dresses AND tonka trucks, my darling offspring.  You can like whatever you want!

For as much as feminists seem to encourage either-gender activity or dress (this would be the genderful parenting), I still see a lot of negativity associated with these things when applying them to their originally perceived gender.  For instance, the Color War (which, for the record, I think is a little ridiculous) about pink and blue and how color influences your kids on a societal level.

Dressing your female-assigned-at-birth child in dresses or anything pink might pressure them into behaving feminine.  However, if my male-assigned-at-birth is put into a dress, is that not just as unfair as an escapade?  It’d be one thing if it were like the old days, when every baby wore a white frock because it was the easiest outfit for a small developing human.  Or even if the child chooses to wear this hypothetical gender bomb that is a dress.

The ultimate sexist article of clothing. Unless it’s on a boy.

I feel, lately, that in the feminist universe, raising your kids as a girl or a boy is some dreadfully mortal sin – and I can understand a little bit of the feeling.  You want your kid to be comfortable with themselves no matter what gender they are.  Don’t let the fact that you’re a girl keep you from playing football.  Or, don’t be afraid to join that dance class because you’re a boy.  That’s the whole point of gender-neutral/genderful parenting.  Gender, essentially, doesn’t determine who you are as a happenin’ human being.

But… it also makes me feel dirty.

I was raised in a fairly conventional manner.  As a girl.  I was raised on hand-me-down clothes (a lot of them boy clothes though, if that matters).  I ran around outside and helped my dad in the garden and went fishing and my stuffed animals routinely went on adventures that involved near-death booby traps and poison darts.  I was not your typical girly girl.  I got my period.  And boobs.  Those were really the two “magically female” things that I encountered growing up as a girl.   And my parents didn’t give a hoot, I was a cool little kid and that’s all that counted!

Later on in my life when I started dabbling in a lot of “typically feminine” activities — like wearing dresses and makeup — I felt really weird and uncomfortable because I was never really into all that shit.  So whatever, back to jeans and a t-shirt for this little tomboy!

Maybe it’s a little nonsensical of me to feel this way, but I almost feel like the GNP idea set demonizes conventional parenting (because everybody’s idea of parenting is completely the same, of course).

I turned out pretty okay.  Or maybe that’s the gender-reinforced brainwashing making me ignore that I might possibly not be a girl at heart.  The only way I could know who I am at all is if I was raised in such a way that I got to explore all ranges of activity and dress and options of preference!  Oh wait, that’s my whole entire life so far.

And for the record, I love the color pink.

I hope to regroup and actually make this into a logical topic, but for now, enjoy the ramble.  And as always, don’t forget to spread the work, and like our new Facebook page!

Pegging Doesn’t Make Your Lover Gay: Sex Does Not Dictate Sexuality

A couple of nights ago, my husband and I had a few people to the house.  One of our guests is a very out and about gay man, who works in a drag house and is very open about his sexual endeavors.  This is great because we are also very open about our exploits and makes for very interesting conversation.

After a while our conversation drifted into a particular event that involved a straight man having anal sex (or receiving oral sex from a man), and our gay friend said something to the affect of, “He’s definitely gay, even though he said he’s straight.”

This prompted me to say something like, “The kind of sex you enjoy doesn’t dictate your sexuality, I don’t think.”  Everyone seemed to disagree with me, which prompted me to do some critical thinking.

I think it’s unfair to categorize certain forms of sex as strictly belonging to gay, lesbian, or straight preference, because sexual pleasure can come from all sorts of different outlets.  I like the occasional nine-tail whip in the bedroom, but that does not immediately make me a BDSM enthusiast.  Or, if I receive oral sex, that makes me a lesbian, even though tons of couples of every gender do it.  Pegging has become an popular sexual act in the bedroom, but according to this theory, straight couples are awakening the inner, secret gay in their husbands and boyfriends!

Girls can enjoy Pen15 memberships now, too!

There is still a huge problem in society where men are afraid to step into newer areas of potential pleasure because of the “stigma” that anal sex means that you’re gay, or will magically make you gay (because, you know, being gay is some big and dreadful thing).  And might I point out, a lady’s holes can be explored to any man’s desire, but I wonder how often the lady is allowed to explore her man/men to such an extent without a battle.  Sexual exploration is a mainstream idea now, but personally, I don’t know enough men who would be willing to let their girlfriends stick it in their behind.  So within my immediate knowledge of the people around me, straight men are less comfortable with stepping outside their perceived ideas of acceptable masculinity and sexual practice because of this bizarre idea that sex acts make or don’t make you straight/gay/bisexual.

Sex is sex is sex.  My friend Erica put it plainly and beautifully:  ” What specific acts get you off have nothing to do with who you want to perform those acts with/on.”  Being gay means that you are romantically/sexually attracted to the same gender, yes?  The kind of sex you have does not have any bearing on this.  If you enjoy getting eaten out like Chinese takeaway, that doesn’t make you a lesbian any more than giving head to your man makes him gay.  Because the kind of sex you like to have is irrelevant to the people you like to have that kind of sex with.

So here’s some food for thought.  Gay sex and straight sex are invalid applications, simply because if you are having sex with someone, regardless of where the peen is in relation to the other peen or vagina or asshole, is sex.  Gay sex, really, is happy sex – which means that all of you are guilty of having a TON OF GAY SEX OOOH MAANNN

 

And sorry about totally not writing about henna for hair like I said I would last time.  But this was a driving force that I had to get down as soon as possible.  Soon, though, we will explore henna.  Promise.

A Brief Review of LUSH Handmade Cosmetics and Sodium Lauryl Sulfate is Everywhere

Let me preface this by saying that I was absolutely in LOVE with the idea of LUSH Handmade Cosmetics.  They advertise as all natural, vegan friendly options, with delicious scents and fresh-ingredient face masks, anything a person like me is bound to get an eco-boner for.  Massage bars, too.  MASSAGE BARS.  Even edible ones.  Can you even handle that jazz?  Because I certainly couldn’t when I found out about them!

The first product that I was told about was the shampoo bars.  And let me tell you about this fantastic idea.  The bars last longer than shampoo in a bottle – and without a bottle, there’s no excess junk in landfills or floating in the ocean or choking whales.  This is a great idea!

Something else that really turned me on about LUSH was that they listed all of their ingredients up front underneath the listings in their catalog, so of course, I was under a very naive impression that if they were displaying their ingredients, there wouldn’t be anything bad in there, of course.

Remember those shampoo bars I was talking about?  FIRST ingredient listed:  Sodium Lauryl Sulfate.  Even the vegan ones.  Their hair conditioners contain talc.  And more often than not, almost every single one has D&C coloring.

Your first reaction might be something like, “um okay big deal,” or “okay crazy conspiracy theory grandma.”  Which is fine, since if you’re not reacting the way that I reacted, you have no idea what’s in your body care products.   Even with those ingredients listed right in front of you, cosmetic and body care products depend on your ignorance to keep using dangerous shit in your shampoo, concealer, toothpaste and more.

Let’s get this big guy out of the way first.  Sodium Lauryl Sulfate was developed in the 1930’s as an industrial garage floor cleaner.  Let that sink in for a second – the same stuff they used (and still use today) on garage floors to remove oil and grease is being put into things that we regularly put onto our skin and into our mouths.  This seems like a pretty logical application, since shampoo is supposed to clean our hair, right?

The problem with Sodium Lauryl Sulfate is that when it cleans your hair, it really cleans your hair.  It strips away any trace of the natural oils (sebum) your scalp produces to keep your hair in “good order.”  Ever try not conditioning post-shampoo?  It’s dried out, flat, and impossible to get a comb through.  This is why.  Without natural oils, your hair will dry out quicker – and the big names in shampoo will tell you to buy their bullshit “moisturizing shampoo.”  If it contains SLS, it will strip your hair.  It will dry it out.  Don’t let bullshit marketing convince you otherwise.  As for the moisturizing element of these magical cure-all shampoos – including conditioners – coat your hair with more chemicals to give the illusion of soft, lustrous hair.  If you want healthy hair, don’t wash it.  I’ll explain how to achieve this goal in a little bit.

So let’s say you wash your hair, condition it, and go about your day.  The next morning (or if you wait a day before showering again), you’ve probably noticed that your hair looks completely and totally disgusting.  It’s visibly greasy and feels a little funky too.  This is another thing that SLS will do.  Obviously when you shampoo, you are coming into contact with your scalp.  The SLS assists in lifting all the oil off your head, drying out the skin on your head (wonder where dandruff comes from?).  Because it’s completely absent, your body knows it needs to compensate for what’s been lost in what it views as a major battle – and produces more sebum than it needs to.  This throws off any homeostasis you may have achieved after puberty.  Increased oil clogs your pores and instigates acne growth, makes your skin shiny and slimy, and you reach for that pretty bar of soap, which does the same thing to your body as it does to your head.  Overstimulating production of sebum, and the cycle continues.  Big Name body care products have trapped us in our own quest for cleanliness, bullying us into dumping tons of money into a product that is really no different than the store brand – it’s just as bad for you as the Big Name.

So, my challenge for you this time around is to not shampoo or condition your hair for one week.  If you’re feeling adventurous, go for two.  Don’t shower for a day or so to give your body time to dump out all that sebum.  In the meantime, fill up a spray bottle with Apple Cider Vinegar.  Go out and buy SheaMoisture Organic Coconut and Hibiscus Hold and Shine Spray (available at CVS for $9.99!, though this is optional).  Enter the shower and just rinse your hair with warm water.  Really work it in there!  Treat yourself to a scalp massage.  Afterwards, take your spray bottle and close your eyes, and drench your hair in the stuff.  Yes, it will smell nasty, but I promise it doesn’t linger.  Work the vinegar through your hair, root to tip.  Afterwards, rinse your hair in cool water.  Step out, dry off your hair, and spray a bit of the SheaMoisture spray to ease the process of combing if you’re having trouble.

Apple Cider vinegar is slightly acidic, but will help balance the pH levels in your hair as well as removing any buildup of dirt and grime without excessively eliminating the sebum, which keeps your hair healthy.  You will have healthier, fuller hair and it won’t feel as dry, and if you keep up the routine, you could eliminate shampoo all together.  Some people prefer to make a mix of ACV and water for a gentler effect (and to lessen the smell) by using 1 tablespoon of ACV per cup of water.

It will take some getting used to, not having your hair be dry and smooth.  We associate it with being clean, and all the while it’s ruining the quality of your hair.  I bet if you ask your grandparents what they did to keep their hair healthy and shimmering, they will probably tell you they used ACV.  It gives red tones to brunettes, and makes highlights in blondes more noticeable.

Toothpastes are notorious for SLS, as well as fluoride, which is a poison, which you are dumping into your bloodstream every day by brushing your teeth.  “It’s only a dimesized blob of toothpaste!”  Yeah, but that dime size x every day of your life for 20 years = a lot of fluoride.  Personally, “if you swallow this then call poison control” is enough for me to think about the long term afflictions I might encounter later.  Lucky for us, there’s fluoride-free toothpaste (albeit, SLS runs rampant in a lot of these).  Or you could go old school and get whiter teeth without the additives and brush with baking soda and water.  This is my preferred method and my teeth are shiny and white.  My breath is easily tamed by hanging out with an Altoid.

If you’re interested in finding out more about the ingredients in your body care products, check out There’s Lead in Your Lipstick by Gill Deacon.  The title was a bit off putting before I picked up my copy via Amazon.  When I got my copy it was only available in Canada, so I paid a little bit more, but it’s definitely worth the read – Gill is a woman who paid close attention to what she put in and on her body, and yet, she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Yes, there are chemicals in cosmetics and body care products that have been proven to increase the chances of cancer.  Surprised?  Don’t be – the FDA does not regulate body care products (it’s totally cool to have formaldehyde in baby shampoo, trust me).  The content is not radical, but instead informs readers with information about what common, dangerous chemicals are in your body care products, and how to approach with caution when buying.  She even lists alternatives and human and vegan-friendly companies that have products that you can actually afford, and some you can even find in stores across the country.  Lots of sources, recommended reading, and eye opening.

Don’t get me wrong – I love LUSH and their products (yes, even as I sit here and get angry about SLS in shampoo).  Their salespeople are fantastic and their goodies are, I’ll admit, delicious and alluring.  Their LUSH Life page includes “We believe in making effective products made from fresh, organic fruit and vegetables, the finest essential oils and safe synthetics.”  This is a wonderful idea, but the value of the fresh, organic goodies is diminished by coloring additives, chemicals that are known skin irritants, preservatives, among things that, for a company that takes pride in their fresh ingredients, should know a thing or two about what is actually GOOD for the customer.  I folded and ended up buying one of those aforementioned shampoo bars, in the Godiva variety, a couple of months ago.  It smells simply divine, but every time I use it, my hair dries out and it’s such a pain to comb.  But it cost me $12 after shipping, so you bet your sweet ass I’m going to use it.

The one thing I definitely love and will encourage from LUSH is their solid perfumes.  Straight up no nonsense, save for some coloring agents.  Compared to a lot of conventional perfumes, they are definitely a safer alternative and smell a LOT better.  I’ve been smearing on Vanillary for two months now and I can’t bring myself to even use the rest of Thierry Mugler’s Angel that I got as a Christmas present for myself last year.  Vanillary definitely takes the cake for people-friendly perfume.  I’d go in-store and smell them first before making any online purchases – some of them are definitely more intense than others!

BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE.  Research the chemicals in your shampoo, toothpaste, concealer, perfume.  Know what you’re putting in and on your body.  You might be surprised.

Next time we’ll tackle hair-dye and how Henna is (in my opinion) the best option for permanent, beautiful hair color.

Interested in reading more?  Check out these links!

Gill Deacon’s LIYL Website

Gill Deacon’s Wallet Tip Sheet (for when you shop)

Environemental Working Group Database – A website that lists lots of popular brands of body care products and what is found in their ingredients.  Legitimate and world-renowned.

Hey – Ideas Are Like Food, I Both Need and Enjoy Them!

Yesterday I took a break from writing anything because my eyes were starting to burn.  I lit some Nag Champa before I laid down on the bed and let my mind wander a bit.

I have about a dozen ideas at this moment about what my next article is going to be about, but the problem is that it’s going to take some time to construct a lot of these intelligently (i.e., What it Means When I Identify as a Woman, The Over-Masculinization of Men, Opposite Grandmothers and Similar Messages – When Social Norms Interfere With Happiness, among others I can’t wait to start on).  So in the meantime, I’m asking my readers:  If there’s anything you would like to see me write about, PLEASE COMMENT BELOW.  Part of writing a blog is catering to my readers, and I would love to hear what you guys have to say.  If you have any reading material, link it!  Just an idea to throw around, let me know!  You guys are an important part of this blog.  I want to write about things YOU care about too!

So please comment below.  And feel free to spread the word about the blog to your friends – the more ideas, the more content.  :D

The Shocking Condition of Women Knowing Nothing About Their Bodies

Warning:  This post is exceptionally frank.  I take no responsibility if you’re offended.  After all, you’re the one reading it.

A girlfriend of mine Facebook messaged me the other day, frantic.

“Kei, I need to ask you something, and it’s really gross.”

“Okay, go for it.  I’m a master of gross things.”

“I was in the shower, and…something that looked like a booger came out of my crotch.  WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT.”

“Hahaha you’re fine, that’s definitely vagina snot.  It’s totally normal, I promise.  It keeps hold of the sperm post-coitus to make pregnancy far more likely.”

“That is fucking disgusting, holy god ugh.  It looks like a BOOGER.”

Naturally, everybody’s reaction to the vagina snot is something along the lines of “omg wtf gross.”  Body fluid has always been a sort of sticky situation.  But of course, you know your body, you know what you’ve been putting into it and exposing it to, so pee, sweat, saliva, everything should not come as a surprise to you.  And most times, everybody is pretty alright with their own body and its processes.

Except, I’ve found, lots and lots of ladies.

Maps of Tasmania: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love My Body Hair

And if you look to your left, you will see a giant allegory for your pubic zone!

When I was 12, a girl asked me why I didn’t shave my legs.  We had just finished a round of dodge-ball or some similar form of middle school torture.  We were sitting on the bleachers waiting for the next rotation when she asked me.  The only thing about this that is really worth mentioning is that she asked it in such a way that implied there was something wrong with me for not shaving my legs.  Of course, I knew that women shaved their legs, but I was 12…and so was this asshole asking me like I doing something gross on purpose.  So began the weird and awkward road of bodyhair hate.